Divorce Counseling—It’s Not Just For Kids.
After divorce, as an intentional parent, you load up on books about divorce, co-parenting, and what it means for kids to go between homes. Amazon delivered the age appropriate books. You’ve done everything to let your kids know divorce is not their fault.
You’ve updated important adults in the life of your children, letting them in on this major life change. You’ve gotten familiar with what to look for if kids are really struggling with the divorce of their parents. Just in case, you’ve gotten the names of the good child therapists and psychologists. You know—you want to look back and believe you were the best parent you could be, even in the toughest of times.
And…How are YOU?
You sleep too much or don’t sleep at all. You’re avoiding the deep dig into your finances. The divorce is final; you get the sense your friends are tired of listening.
You clean out your closets at top speed or you’ve just let the house go to sh__. If you don’t have kids/or when not with them, you’re spending way too much time out or wandering some aisle. There are really important people in your life including family, that you avoid altogether.
Grief and fear come in waves, some soft and some incredibly murky and dark.
You’re wondering if your great new living space is even that great. You’re fearful your high productivity work days and stellar resume are forever gone. You avoid emails or ignore messages. OK, you did download that meditation app. You’re sure that there is something in the tincture and potion aisle at wholefoods for this. This mess. This thing that is divorce recovery.
DIVORCE COUNSELING IS NOT JUST FOR KIDS.
The type of life transition that divorce represents is viewed as one of the big ones. It’s up there with loss of a loved one, relocating, getting the big job, going off to school, having a child, etc.
When the facts AND feelings around a marriage ending are not addressed, it is possible to become overwhelmed with anxiety or depression. Individuals sometimes develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, like self-medicating (with shopping, alcohol, video gaming, overeating, self-destructive dating habits, etc.) in response to emotional dysregulation. Eventually, those methods of survival often make things worse. Specialized psychotherapy like divorce recovery counseling is effective at addressing the situational stress that comes with this major life change.
In divorce counseling, you have permission to admit that life is not OK. Working through difficult feelings can improved confidence and minimize feelings of hopefulness. In divorce recovery, life can also be about reinvention—something new. Successful therapy can have a positive impact on your ability to parent fully and form healthy future adult relationships. Professional counseling can provide a space and structure to your process of designing a new life.
From our own families to the surrounding culture, we are told to hide vulnerability and do things on our own. It is transformational, however, to know that what you are confronting is normal and common. It is extremely reassuring to have another person see and hear you (I’ve lived it).
By investing in yourself now in divorce recovery therapy, you are seizing the opportunity to feel better sooner and create a strong emotional foundation that will be yours for the rest of life.
Begin Divorce Counseling in Raleigh, NC
Are you muddling through divorce thinking only of how the kids are coping? Do you find yourself making poor decisions when you are struggling to cope? Divorce recovery counseling in the Raleigh/Durham, NC area will help you find space to heal.
To begin counseling:
Have a free phone consultation
Begin taking care of yourself after a divorce.
Other mental health services in Durham/Chapel Hill, NC
I provide both individual therapy and couples counseling, including polyamorous relationship counseling. Individual services include anxiety treatment, depression counseling, and therapy for life transitions. For couples therapy I support you with premarital counseling, co-parent therapy, as well as divorce recovery counseling. If you are ready to begin therapy in the Raleigh, NC area, contact me today.